Pastoral Ministry – a key component of our church

The aim of pastoral ministry training is to develop resilient, competent, aware and listening lay ministers.

Training people to be good safe pastoral ministers is not a quick business and the course was nine modules spread over three years.

Some of the topics covered included healing, grief, guilt and forgiveness, loss and bereavement, mental health and addictions, childlessness, sexuality, care of the elderly and of course good, non-judgemental listening skills.

Why did I consider training as a lay minister? To be truly honest a lot of people talked me into it believing it was the right thing for me. I therefore considered it very carefully and prayerfully and decided to try.

I believe I have encountered God on my journey in the people he has given me, to love me and guide me. I have spent all my life not being clear about what God wants me to do and I hoped this exploration of my gifts and the opportunity to experience different things would show me what is right, where and how I can help. Pastoral ministry is varied, not monochrome.

I have realised that ALPMs come in all sorts of packages with different backgrounds, skills and knowledge, different kinds of faith and ways of expressing it. All of us are on a journey to discover where we could be used to serve the Lord.

I grew up in a Christian family with wonderful examples from both my parents and also my Nana who was in the Salvation Army, and I have always felt God was in my life. My family moved to the North East when I was 15. Apart from time away at university, I was a member of St Barnabas’ congregation in Rowlands Gill for over forty years.

Depending on my work commitments and bringing up a family I always tried to be involved with things at church. Years ago the emphasis for this was probably around children as I had family of my own. I was Guide captain of the church troupe and youth club leader for “Barney’s”. As I have got older what I was involved with changed. Families and young adults who are starting their faith journey were my love.  At these times I have always felt my prayers and my time were important. Being able to take communion to someone housebound is a very special privilege.

I tried to find a way that fitted into their busy lives and helped them to grow. There have also been individuals I have visited when sick at home and in hospital and I became particularly close to individuals at the end of their life.  

I spent my professional life working in the NHS. I experienced a lot in my working life and shared many happy and sad moments. Before retirement I was chief pharmacist to a large mental health trust. This was not a job I would have chosen but it taught me so much about things I didn’t really understand.

Counselling someone with a mental illness is very different to a physical condition. I also worked with many wonderful people, chaplains and other staff. Both the team I managed and the patients we cared for were from many backgrounds and many faiths. A “lot of life” happened during this time and I hope I was able to help the people there.

I have an unusual form of arthritis which started in my twenties and has meant a lot of time spent in hospital and many operations. It certainly helped me professionally to be empathetic in a whole new way but also to understand the hopes and fears of others Christians who are ill. I still don’t understand who is healed and why children die but have accepted that is Ok not to understand.

I thought the best way to describe what being an Authorised Lay Pastoral Minister (ALPM) means to me was through this lived experience.

Joyce is a gorgeous old lady. The sort of person you hope you will become as you age. She loves God and her family and has a wonderful prayer life. Her husband Norman was a Reader in our church, my “adopted dad” and sadly he died a couple of years ago leaving a big gap for everyone who knew him. This was a terrible time for Joyce. They were a real, loving couple with an incredible faith. Joyce has lots of family nearby her sons, her grandchildren and great grandchildren who take care of her physically really well. Sometimes too well! They try to see she has company and often fill every moment when sometimes she wants just some quiet time. That’s where I came in.

She really wanted time to be sad and talk about Norman. I was the person she could do that with. The family wanted to keep her happy but she needed time to grieve. When I visit we have a cup of coffee and talk. I think under her brave face she is quite depressed. Although the family make sure she can get to church on a Sunday. I always make sure she can get to Mothers Union and any other special services. She was on the flower rota but was physically struggling so I let her teach me so I could take her place. Just recently she has handed over her place to me but she has done it happily rather than with regrets.

If Joyce isn’t at church I always give her a ring to see she is Ok and she too checks in on me. She is a gem. One big thing she has taught me is about prayer. She keeps a book by her bed with prayer requests but she also writes in when prayers are answered so she can say thank you. Isn’t that wonderful.  As I write this I see that we both have so much from this relationship. It is a real joy to be with Joyce and help her in any way I can.